Stir Crazy

You know those times where you just feel like your body is aching, not from exhaustion but from lack of use. I JUST WANT TO LEAVE! I want to run out the door, hop in the car, and run away! Far away! Anywhere! Seriously, anywhere at all. I just can’t stay here anymore. I can’t live this life. A life of alarm clocks and planners and schedules; a life of responsibility and direction. I want to get lost. I want to be homeless and penniless and free! I want to wake up with the sun and fall asleep under the stars. I want to wander and wonder and discover; discover the world and discover myself. I don’t need to know where I’m going, I don’t want to know where I’m going, I just want to get going! But I’m scared. Not scared that I won’t be able to do it or scared of falling hard out there on my own. I’m scared that I’ll have to come back. I’m scared that I will have to return someday because I wasn’t properly prepared. I JUST HATE HOW OUR WORLD IS MADE. I hate that they make it so hard for people to be free and to be happy. Why is it wrong not to want a five-bedroom home with a white picket fence? Why is it wrong not to want to get married and have children? Why am I strange because I don’t want a job or money or welfare or a home or a family or a community or a routine? I just want experience. I want to live before I die. I’m scared that I won’t.

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